It’s the same scenario over and over again. I’ll be out at a party/bar/restaurant, and my newly-engaged / newly committed in a relationship friend, random person, or my grandma says:
oh, but you’re so pretty/smart/funny/etc….why are you still single?
This post is dedicated to those people, and is a polite request for them to stop.
Being single is not some weird tragedy that deserves a spotlight to be placed on it. It won’t get me on E! True Hollywood Story, Ripley’s Believe it or Not, or even get me a Nobel Peace Prize. However, you would think so with the way people seem to ask me, and with the way their overly concerned faces match the question.
It’s kind of a backhanded compliment too. I love being told I’m pretty/smart/awesome almost as much as I love getting that Chocolate Chip Cookie Skillet from Chili’s on a Sunday afternoon. But then you throw in the why are you still single/there’s no way you’re single/stop it. Are you saying that because your boyfriend really isn’t that cool?, and it’s like discovering that Chili’s gave me a plastic cookie and skillet instead of the real thing.
Stop transforming my cookie into plastic.
Of course, there’s a variety of reasons that could explain why I’m without someone to share pizza and a movie with at 3 am, such as.
- Having too many goals to accomplish in my last semester of college, such as getting published in a magazine, surviving my advertising campaigns class, and maybe, just maybe, finally learning how to use a planner.
- My inability to stop saying everything that’s on my mind. I’m too honest and sarcastic for my own good. My foot has a permanent place in my mouth, rarely ever leaves.
- The unrealistic idea I’ve developed that J.D. from Scrubs is an actual person that’s waiting for me to find him. I just haven’t landed in the right hospital yet.
Look, here’s the thing. I’ve never been one to follow rules. Actually, I’ve told many people that rules are meant to be broken. Apparently there’s some unspoken society rule that you have to be in relationship or continuously dating when you’re 22 and about to graduate from college, and I’m ok with accepting the challenge to break it. Sure, there’s some Friday & Saturday nights where I’m sitting home watching Nextflix and wishing I had some cute guy next to me to watch it with me, but those moments don’t happen as often as people like to think they do.
So please, make some funeral arrangements for “why are you still single” question, and lay it to rest. Or claim you don’t have the money or time for that and don’t. Just know that we’re writing different books, and I haven’t gotten around to writing that chapter yet. And be prepared for a sarcastic answer that might make you angry if you choose to keep asking.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.